See the best in others

There is always good for us to see in others. Someone has said that we see what we are looking for. If we look for the weaknesses of others, we will surely find it, just as we can find that same weakness within ourselves. However, if we look for the best in others, we will also see that. Scripture tells us “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). Seek to help out a mate, a friend, perhaps even a stranger. They need your help and need you to see the best in them.

~ Dr. David Hawkins

How to S.H.O.W. love to your wife – Part 3

We have been discussing the acronym S.H.O.W. and how it plays into planning days off and weekends to spend time with your spouse. The first part was “S”imple and it is very important in showing your spouse that you love them. The next letter is “H”. This stands for honest. The third letter, "O", in my opinion is the most important step. You can keep things simple and honest but if you are not open to changing the plan, your event could go from good to bad in an instant. Every man has had this happen to them from their first date with a girl to last weekend with their wife of 20 years. You plan on doing something and because of some unforeseen problem, your plans go right out the door. Sometimes it even turns into a fight. I believe this is the devil getting in the way of a couples happiness. If he can get a loving couple to argue...he wins every time. 

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

This is where being "OPEN" comes in to play. The devil will attack you and try to stop your happiness. Being open to change is the way to beat him. If your plans fall through, weather hits, time delays, traffic, headaches, or whatever happens always remember that the main goal of showing your wife love is spending time together not what your actual plan was. For example, your romantic dinner and movie, is not about the dinner and the movie. It is about spending quality time together. So if there is an auto accident and you miss half the movie, is that what the night was about in the first place? Trust me, your wife wants to spend time with you. It is not what you are doing, it is doing them together that is most important. 

                                                                                                                                          Husband

A Very Important Question For Husbands

                                          Photo Courtesy of catholicfire.blogspot.com

Husbands, I want to talk for a minute about the following bible verse:

Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

The first question you might ask yourselves is why are we discussing this? This is a verse for women. That question could not be farther from the truth. This verse has a lot of mixed emotions around it. I have heard the following statements from wives. “He doesn’t know what he is doing, why should I listen to him?” “I will never submit to a man!” The problem I have seen is that everyone reads the first part of the sentence, but never the last part. When writing this book, Paul wanted us to know that being married to someone is the same as being married to God. We choose to trust our Lord and we also choose to trust our spouse.
This brings me to my point. Our wives choose to trust us. What we do with that trust is our choice. I trust in God. I know, without a doubt, that He will always be beside me. He will always protect me. He will always guide me and most importantly, He will always love me. Can your wife say the same thing about you? For some wives, submitting to your husband can be a very frightening decision. The same feeling some husband’s feel when they put their faith in God to help them work out problems in their lives. Only three verses’ later, Paul describes our job.

Ephesians 5:25(NIV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

That is a very powerful love. God loves us so much, he gave up his only son that we may have everlasting life. Everyone knows that verse, right? John 3:16. Being a child of God fills your heart with peace knowing that you are always taken care of. The question you need to ask yourself is this:

Does my wife know that I will always be with her, love her, guide her, and cherish her?

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How to S.H.O.W. love to your wife – Part 2

We have been discussing the acronym S.H.O.W. and how it plays into planning days off and weekends to spend time with your spouse. The first part was “S”imple and it is very important in showing your spouse that you love them. The next letter is “H”. This stands for honest. I know the thing you are thinking right now, really? I know to be honest and I would never lie to my wife. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about being honest in your approach and effort when showing your wife love. No matter what kind of salesmen you think you are, she will see right through bringing home flowers because you forgot her birthday! I want you to stop right now and think, honestly, how well do you know your wife? Can you name her favorite movie, favorite perfume, favorite restaurant, etc. These are the types of things you need to think about when you are planning on showing your love to your spouse. How do you think she would react if tonight she came home and you rented her favorite movie, cooked her favorite dinner, was wearing the shirt she thinks you look great in, and had her favorite bottle of wine? Think about it, should be a very good night.
All women know that you love them. Think about that for a second. It is not the question of if you love them. The question they ask themselves is when was the last time he SHOWED that he loved me. This act of showing your love does not have to be a big deal. It has to be Simple, Honest, Open and a Wow factor. (SHOW) So the next time you are thinking about doing something nice for your wife, remember to keep it simple and be honest with it. Do not have an alternative motive for your plan. She will be able to tell if it is honest or not. Do not even attempt it. Make it all about showing her how much you love her. You will be surprised at how she responds back!  I would love to hear any stories about how this works for you. Please leave a comment.
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The 5 Second Rule

All of us have heard this saying coming from our parents more than once. "Be careful what you say", "Think before you speak", or "Are you sure you want to say that?" Just like me, there are probably a long list of things you said that you wish you could take back. Even saying that you are sorry doesn't always make you fell better and you can tell that the other person was hurt with what you said. They may even accept your apologize but will always remember that you hurt them. I understand that in the heat of the moment, with your emotions running high, your brain tells you it is OK to say what you are thinking. I want to remind you that is not.

Psalm 141:3

Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.

The Psalm writer was very direct in this verse as should everyone. When you are about to speak to your wife, husband, children, co-worker, or a stranger in the airport, the most important thing you should remember is will this hurt? The answer to that question could save everyone some regret and hardships. Especially in your marriage, you must always think closely about what you are about to say. A small joke or a tease can turn into a huge argument. One lesson I learned from public speaking is whenever you are asked a question, you have to wait at least 5 seconds before you answer. The reason is that it gives your brain time to truly understand and compose a proper response. Try this next time you are going to say something to your spouse. Take a 5 second pause and just think. You will be amazed at the result.

~Husband

Great Start To The Weekend

Beginning of the weekend. Tonight would be a great time to surprise your wife. Do something simple! Maybe a back massage or draw her a bath with candles. Tell her to get in the car and surprise her with a new place to eat. Always remember that anything you do to give her attention is the key. She will love you for it! 
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How to S.H.O.W. love to your wife – Part 1

Most husbands, who have been married for a few years, think they understand their wife and know exactly what to do to show their love. Thinking that what you have done for years is the best way to show your love is where ALL husbands go wrong. We, as males, are used to having a routine and stuff we like to do that makes us happy. For example, most fathers days, wives around the world let their husbands lay around, watch a game and then cook some sort of animal on a grill. This is great as a guy because you do not have any responsibility that day and you can just relax. We are thankful to our wives and we show our appreciation for their love. Women, on the other hand need a little more from their husbands to FEEL loved. Always remember that to most women, love is a feeling, not an act. The following articles, I want to give you guys an acronym to help you remember how to S.H.O.W. love to your wife while you’re planning something special for her.

                First let me start with the word S.H.O.W. It stands for “S”imple, “H”onest, “O”pen, and “W”onder. I would like to discuss “S”imple first. While this sounds like an easy one, it can be very hard. Planning something to do for your wife can lead to a very long, long, long list. You do not have to be that complex to show your true love. In planning your event, keeping it simple is the first and most important step. Missing this step can lead to trouble. In making decisions about what to do for your wife, always remember to keep it simple. Think about small things that she has said or done lately and incorporate that into your plans. For example, if she is missing her grown children or missing her mother, maybe during a surprise dinner, you arranged to have her kids or mother video chat with her. Or for instance, if it has been a long time between vacations, maybe setup a pool and a beach chair in the backyard after work and pretend to have a lazy afternoon at the beach. These are just examples, because only you truly know your wife. Whatever you choose to do, remember to keep it “S”imple.

~Husband