See the best in others

There is always good for us to see in others. Someone has said that we see what we are looking for. If we look for the weaknesses of others, we will surely find it, just as we can find that same weakness within ourselves. However, if we look for the best in others, we will also see that. Scripture tells us “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). Seek to help out a mate, a friend, perhaps even a stranger. They need your help and need you to see the best in them.

~ Dr. David Hawkins

Genuine Actions

What's do you do that you know is against your husband...or 

better yet, against God's design???

Let's be honest with ourselves.

Do you speak badly of him to others?

Do you go against his wishes when you know they are only there to benefit

you both?

Are you disrespectful?

Maybe you nag him all the time.....

Ladies, when we do things that are against our husbands, whether it be 

verbal or our actions, we are telling him that he doesn't matter and 

we don't care. That in turn says the same thing to God. God created 

us to be our husband's helper not someone that hurts and/or disrespects him. 

An apology is nice but only if it's followed by genuine actions. We need

to show our husbands that we are truly sorry and have ask for forgiveness

from God. We have to build that trust and be careful not to break it but 

if we do it is up to us to make sure we do everything in our power to 

correct it. 

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a 

quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24(NIV)

Also read: 

Proverbs 27:15

Proverbs 19:13

Proverbs 12:4 

Proverbs 31:10-31

Let's strive to be a Proverbs 31 Wife not a disgraceful one.

Temptation will come to even the most spiritual among us, but the wife 

who holds fast to her noble character will bring glory to God and 

blessings to her husband and herself. ~James Dobson

Real Marriage: The Respectful Wife - Mark Driscoll

http://www.youtube.com/v/ZGoRCfffTYg?autohide=1&version=3&attribution_tag=I2CgrNAqwoWj0yYZc2YtfA&autoplay=1&autohide=1&showinfo=1&feature=share

Ladies, The above link will help you understand the positive effects of being respectful. It will also explain to you the damage you are causing by being disrespectful. Make God happy, not Satan.

Enjoy the video.

~Wife

How to S.H.O.W. love to your wife – Part 3

We have been discussing the acronym S.H.O.W. and how it plays into planning days off and weekends to spend time with your spouse. The first part was “S”imple and it is very important in showing your spouse that you love them. The next letter is “H”. This stands for honest. The third letter, "O", in my opinion is the most important step. You can keep things simple and honest but if you are not open to changing the plan, your event could go from good to bad in an instant. Every man has had this happen to them from their first date with a girl to last weekend with their wife of 20 years. You plan on doing something and because of some unforeseen problem, your plans go right out the door. Sometimes it even turns into a fight. I believe this is the devil getting in the way of a couples happiness. If he can get a loving couple to argue...he wins every time. 

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

This is where being "OPEN" comes in to play. The devil will attack you and try to stop your happiness. Being open to change is the way to beat him. If your plans fall through, weather hits, time delays, traffic, headaches, or whatever happens always remember that the main goal of showing your wife love is spending time together not what your actual plan was. For example, your romantic dinner and movie, is not about the dinner and the movie. It is about spending quality time together. So if there is an auto accident and you miss half the movie, is that what the night was about in the first place? Trust me, your wife wants to spend time with you. It is not what you are doing, it is doing them together that is most important. 

                                                                                                                                          Husband

Through God's eyes

Ladies,
When you look at your husband what do you see?

His loving eyes?

His broad shoulders?

Really, what do you see?

Here's something that will forever change the way you look at your husband:

Ask God to show you your husband through His eyes. God sees his heart and if you allow God to bless you with this wonderful gift you will forever be changed. That beauty you see in your man will rise to levels you never thought possible.

"Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV

~Wife

(husbands you too can have this gift from God if you ask)

Kind Words

Do you listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth? Are they uplifting or do they tear down the foundation of your husband?

Encourage your husband today. Think before you speak and ask the Lord to tame your tongue. Be the beacon of light shining on the path he is walking down. Grab his hand and make sure he knows you are there with him. He's worth it.     

~Wife

A Very Important Question For Husbands

                                          Photo Courtesy of catholicfire.blogspot.com

Husbands, I want to talk for a minute about the following bible verse:

Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

The first question you might ask yourselves is why are we discussing this? This is a verse for women. That question could not be farther from the truth. This verse has a lot of mixed emotions around it. I have heard the following statements from wives. “He doesn’t know what he is doing, why should I listen to him?” “I will never submit to a man!” The problem I have seen is that everyone reads the first part of the sentence, but never the last part. When writing this book, Paul wanted us to know that being married to someone is the same as being married to God. We choose to trust our Lord and we also choose to trust our spouse.
This brings me to my point. Our wives choose to trust us. What we do with that trust is our choice. I trust in God. I know, without a doubt, that He will always be beside me. He will always protect me. He will always guide me and most importantly, He will always love me. Can your wife say the same thing about you? For some wives, submitting to your husband can be a very frightening decision. The same feeling some husband’s feel when they put their faith in God to help them work out problems in their lives. Only three verses’ later, Paul describes our job.

Ephesians 5:25(NIV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

That is a very powerful love. God loves us so much, he gave up his only son that we may have everlasting life. Everyone knows that verse, right? John 3:16. Being a child of God fills your heart with peace knowing that you are always taken care of. The question you need to ask yourself is this:

Does my wife know that I will always be with her, love her, guide her, and cherish her?

                                                                                                                                     ~Husband

                                                                                                                                                            

How to S.H.O.W. love to your wife – Part 2

We have been discussing the acronym S.H.O.W. and how it plays into planning days off and weekends to spend time with your spouse. The first part was “S”imple and it is very important in showing your spouse that you love them. The next letter is “H”. This stands for honest. I know the thing you are thinking right now, really? I know to be honest and I would never lie to my wife. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about being honest in your approach and effort when showing your wife love. No matter what kind of salesmen you think you are, she will see right through bringing home flowers because you forgot her birthday! I want you to stop right now and think, honestly, how well do you know your wife? Can you name her favorite movie, favorite perfume, favorite restaurant, etc. These are the types of things you need to think about when you are planning on showing your love to your spouse. How do you think she would react if tonight she came home and you rented her favorite movie, cooked her favorite dinner, was wearing the shirt she thinks you look great in, and had her favorite bottle of wine? Think about it, should be a very good night.
All women know that you love them. Think about that for a second. It is not the question of if you love them. The question they ask themselves is when was the last time he SHOWED that he loved me. This act of showing your love does not have to be a big deal. It has to be Simple, Honest, Open and a Wow factor. (SHOW) So the next time you are thinking about doing something nice for your wife, remember to keep it simple and be honest with it. Do not have an alternative motive for your plan. She will be able to tell if it is honest or not. Do not even attempt it. Make it all about showing her how much you love her. You will be surprised at how she responds back!  I would love to hear any stories about how this works for you. Please leave a comment.
                                                                                                                                              ~Husband

Kind Words

When’s the last time you told your husband that you think he’s amazing?

Have you told him lately that you admire his work ethics?

Do you tell him how sexy he is?

Believe it or not your man needs to hear these things just as much as you need to hear how much he loves you and how beautiful you are to him.

Next time something nice pops in your head about your husband “speak it”.  If he’s not around send him a text or pick up the phone and tell him what you feel. While you’re at it ask God to show you what your husband needs from you.

Be brave and take this step.

God gave you that wonderful man, so go tell him how lucky you are to have him.

Proverbs 16:24 Kind words are like honey – Sweet to the soul and healthy to the body.

***If you already do these things leave a comment letting us know some of the ways you show appreciation to your husband.

                                                                                                                                                                               ~Wife           

I can't talk now

The sweetest words spoken to me today were "I can’t talk now".

OK. I know this sounds crazy, but here’s the story behind it.

I get a call every day from my husband to chat on his way home from work (it’s an hour long drive each way for him). I love this time with him because it catches us up and then when he does get home I am able to enjoy the moments with him. But tonight he called and said “I’m OK; everything is fine but I can’t talk right now.  I just wanted you to know I am on my way home”. 

Yeah, I know. Why would I think these are such wonderful words??? It’s what came next…… 

“I need to talk to God”.  He chose God over me? {{YES}} 

That is an amazing sweet song sang in my ear. 

Having a Godly man as your husband is a wonderful gift.  A gift we need to thank God daily for.

Do you recognize the Godly man your husband is? If not, look at him…deeply. Pay attention to his actions. Take time to notice.

If your husband is not a Godly man, don’t give up. God never gave up on you or me. Keep shining God’s love to your husband. He will see the Light through you.

~Wife

The 5 Second Rule

All of us have heard this saying coming from our parents more than once. "Be careful what you say", "Think before you speak", or "Are you sure you want to say that?" Just like me, there are probably a long list of things you said that you wish you could take back. Even saying that you are sorry doesn't always make you fell better and you can tell that the other person was hurt with what you said. They may even accept your apologize but will always remember that you hurt them. I understand that in the heat of the moment, with your emotions running high, your brain tells you it is OK to say what you are thinking. I want to remind you that is not.

Psalm 141:3

Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.

The Psalm writer was very direct in this verse as should everyone. When you are about to speak to your wife, husband, children, co-worker, or a stranger in the airport, the most important thing you should remember is will this hurt? The answer to that question could save everyone some regret and hardships. Especially in your marriage, you must always think closely about what you are about to say. A small joke or a tease can turn into a huge argument. One lesson I learned from public speaking is whenever you are asked a question, you have to wait at least 5 seconds before you answer. The reason is that it gives your brain time to truly understand and compose a proper response. Try this next time you are going to say something to your spouse. Take a 5 second pause and just think. You will be amazed at the result.

~Husband

Listening to him

Ladies, how well do you listen when your husband speaks?

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." ~Stephen R. Covey

*Do you listen wholeheartedly?

*Do you sincerely care about what he is saying?

*Could repeat what he said back to him?

or

*Are you ready to respond before he has finished talking?

*Are you looking him in his eyes?

*Are you thinking about your to-do-list instead of what he is saying?

I have a challenge for all you ladies.

For the next two weeks, when your man has something to tell you:
stop what you’re doing, listen, be still, look him in the eyes and acknowledge that you really heard him. You can only give your opinion if he asks for it.

It sounds easy, right?  Let’s do this ladies.

You’ll be amazed with the outcome. He will want to share his day with you more often because you show an interest. Have fun getting to know your man.

Proverbs 18:13 (KJV)

¹³ He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

~Wife